Happy Fathers' Day, Mom....

So today is fathers' day. Typically, this day is obsolete to me...it comes and goes, and I typically pay no attention to it...because if I do it forces me to think about the lack thereof....but I digress.

Today's blog is about something that I've always heard from several people...those who wish their mothers a Happy Fathers' Day. Some of these women have played exemplary roles in their children's life as single parents, and have tried to compensate for all of the voids left by the absence of a father figure...Some have struggled to the very core on almost every level, and several have led extraordinary lives bringing in the bread to the point where their children don't have lack for anything (my aunt is a a great example of this). These women unequivocally deserve all of the appreciation, love and honor they receive PLUS MORE. It is not easy to be a single parent and products of single parent homes oftentimes have a great affinity and alliegiance to their mothers.

However, this does not (for me at least) warrant for a mother be honored on both Mothers' and Fathers' day. In my opinion, even if women have held their homes together and ensured the success of their children, there is still a void left by an absentee father. I believe that wishing one's mother a Happy Fathers' Day is an acknowledgement of the pain, void, or resentment left by the absence of a father in the home. That right there to me shows me that no matter how great your mother was, there is still the pain of feeling abandoned, unwanted, unloved, etc. because Dad wasn't there.

Consider another scenario: Perhaps your father passed away when you were younger. Even though your mother assumed the role as the provider and protector of the family, for many there is still a longingness for Dad.

On the flip side --the fact that there are more persons than I can count who wish their moms Happy Fathers' Day shows a real problem within our community. In my family alone, there are so many young people who have been forced to figure out or construct their own sense of manhood and masculinity because their fathers were absent. And there are also many young women who deal with low self-esteem and accept BS from young dudes because they didn't have the validation of a present father. That's a real problem...and if there are any fathers out there reading this...raise your kids man. Point Blank.

For those of you who have also read this and still bestow the honor of Happy Fathers' Day to your mother...do you. I don't know the relationship you've had with your mother and it's not up to me to define it for you. This is merely my personal opinion....and I may never know the personal journey it may have been for you to get to the place you are. I do, however, salute you for overcoming overwhelming obstacles due to single parenthood and achieving success inspite of.

Happy Fathers Day to all of the men out there, whether it's fathers, grandfathers, uncles, mentors, pastors, etc. who are providing a father figure to several young men out here.....I salute you...and to the fathers who aren't.......Man Up.



Stay Lifted.

The same old song...."Fear of Falling"

Recently I've been pondering what we perceive as success, and the steps we take to achieve a level of success in our lives. In my own lifetime, my very short lifetime, I have thought about how many times myself and others have created this idea for what paths we should take towards achieving our success...what what in fact makes us successful. From my own personal experience, I remember creating time lines of where I wanted to be in the next five, ten or so years, and I've even given myself deadlines as to when I should know exactly what it is and where I want to be in the next few years. Now don't get me wrong, I do believe that deadlines are a good way to measure and manage progress, and I believe that all people should have some type of expectations that help us gauge where we are what we need to do...but I have learned and come to believe that setting such expectations without consideration for falling can be detrimental to our overall success.

How often have we created plans that are so well within our comfort zone and do not challenge us or make us uncomfortable. How oftentimes do we tread on low grown because we are afraid to fall from high heights? Think about this: when working out to become stronger, the longer your body remains in a state of uncomfortableness, the greater our strength and stamina. Several fresh college grads, business owners, artists, athletes, etc. etc. etc., are scared to death at the thought at taking a chance, but if you are afraid to fall...to take that chance, you'll never know the full wealth of your very ingenuity...and you'll never truly value the worth of your success. So instead of writing a long blog with meaningful (or meaningless to some) analogies, I'll leave you with a few questions that beg introspection:

Are you happy with what you're doing now? Are you traveling the safe route, following the "plans" (as ambiguous as they may be), are you utilizing your talents? Do you trust yourself enough? These are not rhetorical questions, but are question that I ask myself everyday all the time....I'm not encouraging shiftlessness, making hasty decisions without thought...but I am encouraging to sometimes challenge what you perceive as "impractical" or "improbable"...if what you've ever denied yourself of doing, or the fear you've had about a certain decision you made has ever been because of the uncertainty of the consequences or effects, then, you, my friend, are afraid of falling....and if you never fall...perhaps you'll never conquer what it is you've been so desperate of achieving.



STAY LIFTED.