So this past weekend I had the opportunity to go back to my alma mater to celebrate and worship with the Miami University Gospel Singers during their 38th Annual Gospel Fest. First, I must say that if you have ever had doubts about a college choir, then you haven't met MUGS. They're organization is truly a ministry in every sense of the word. One that is Christ-centered and driven by love and compassion for people. Being apart of that ministry has changed my perception of a Christian walk, what it means to live for Christ, and what ministry is and should be.
During the Gospel Fest concert, they ministered several songs that impacted me...but one song, "Deeper," had a lasting, even latent, impact on me. After the concert, me and my friends got together, and just reflected on the goodness of God and continued to enjoy the rest of the evening and rest of the weekend.
On my way back home from Oxford, I began to reflect on my life, on where I was going, on the concept of "witness" and just where I needed to be in Christ. I thought about several of the barriers I'd set up, several of the mistakes I made, and several of the things I had become comfortable with...and the lyrics of the song "Deeper" came back to me. There is a part of the song that says, "God gives a heart, Give us your heart"...and then there is a part that says "break my heart with the things that break your heart." For once in a very very long time....I had felt the broken heart of God. My heart was broken and God began to reveal to me why His heart was broken. It felt like I had received the heart of God again.
While God was dealing with me...he revealed to me through His song that sometimes we have to go "deeper into the water"...to drown all of our old self, to be submerged and washed, to be rejuvenated, in order to rise again and be lifted up...to be restored. That's why baptism is so symbolic.
Right now I am undergoing a new baptism, a baptism that is taking me deeper into God...I have disobeyed God...I have made the wrong things okay...I have damaged my witness...and now I'm going deeper....but I realize that every wrong thing that I did was a necessity...it was needed in order for me to more deeply understand the heart of God. My life is forever changed. I am ready...and I am going deeper.
Here's the song that ministered to me: "Deeper" by Israel Houghton & New Breed
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